Three Things
by picrusher
Summary: Beverly sets out on one last journey to tell her love three things. One-shot. P/C


**A/N:** So I've been absent for a while. We'll blame writer's block, laziness, and Tumblr. But lately I have been trying to make myself write more to get back in the swing of things so if you're reading any of my other WIPs keep your eyes peeled. I hope to be updating soon. In any case, here's something to keep you occupied. I wrote it a while ago but I never posted. Enjoy and let me know what you think.

…

**Three Things**

It was a day that came and went every year. There wasn't much fanfare, if any at all, only a quiet celebration filled with love and admiration. It was what they preferred. And it was all they ever needed.

But this year had been different.

The day approached rapidly, as it always seemed to do. However this time, there wasn't even a whisper of celebration. No one even mentioned it. As the day grew closer, another mission concluded and the members of the Enterprise found themselves on a course toward Earth.

The turn of events brought a confusing blend of emotions to one woman who had, of late, often found herself wishing for the comfort of home and yet dreading it at the same time. Home just seemed to bring too many painful reminders, too many painful memories now. And she didn't know if she had the strength to withstand even a few hours on the soft soil let alone days or weeks. Especially since she knew everywhere she turned she'd see the ghost of what should have been.

Once they had docked and her feet touched Earth, it didn't take her long to free herself from Starfleet's bureaucracy. The moment she stepped foot outside of headquarters, she found herself drawn back to the one place that had constantly called to her for months. In the matter of minutes, she found herself at the beginning of the path. She paused to breathe in her surroundings, taking note of how things now seemed so different outside the confines of Starfleet.

She looked toward the sky to see the sunlight's valiant fight to make its presence known. It strained down with dedicated and determined purpose, punching through the angry accumulation of clouds blocking its path. From the west, the wind blew through the hillside, reminding everything and everyone with its fierce embrace that a storm was brewing.

For several moments she continued to stare up at the gray sky. Slowly, her eyes shifted to the patch of blue in the distance. The small scrap of color gave her hope. And even though the rain threatened to end her journey with each ominous shadow, she pursued the blue sky…she pursued her goal.

Hours later, on the top of the highest mountain, she stood on the verge of a precipice. The constant ache in her heart quickly conquered her attempt at serenity. The lingering tragic event from months ago still stripped away the happiness she once knew.

Her heart stalled briefly as she recalled the last time she stood in this spot and looked out into the horizon. As she toed the ledge she stared out into the crisp blue and wispy white of the sky with not a hint of the fear she'd known for most of her life. Her mind shifted as she turned her eyes down past the edge of the cliff.

Was it he who cured her of this affliction? Was it he who showed her what it was like to live without fear?

In the end of all things, it was he who taught her everything she needed to know in life.

As the breeze picked up again, it combed through the strands of her hair as tenderly as his fingers once had. A tear stroked her cheek in a gentle caress. He was there. She could feel his touch.

With a longing sigh, she whispered into the warm air.

"_I'm sorry."_

"_I miss you."_

"_I love you."_

She reserved those three things solely for these hills. She reserved them for him, for his heart, and his soul to hear. She held them in her heart and her soul to bear until she could release them into the sweet air.

It smelled like honeysuckles. Much like it had the day her life was changed. The day he stripped her of her reservations and gave her everything she never thought she'd have.

He loved her.

And now she had to live out the rest of her days knowing this. Alone. Her sad whisper floated into the air carrying his name into the distance.

White, ethereal figures kissed the vibrant blue as she looked to the heavens again. As her eyes absorbed the scene playing before them, they mimicked the color found above. Staring straight up, she searched for him, the same as she did in space.

But she never found him. He was never there. Not in his Ready Room, not on the Bridge, not in Sickbay, not in their quarters and not here…on their mountain.

As the minutes passed, the tears began to fall more freely. It still hurt so much knowing she'd never see him again. Knowing that all she had left now were pictures and memories and…

Her thoughts and tears drew her attention so deeply that she didn't hear the small pebbles crunch as her unexpected visitor made his slow approach. She hadn't expected any interruptions on this journey…on this day. Her memory didn't even recall that she'd told anyone of this place. But he knew she'd be here. He knew she'd come here as soon as the debriefing ended. This place was one of her only solaces on this planet…in this life.

A warm hand settled on her shoulder. The heat radiating from the palm caused her to shudder. Her form backed away from his slowly…cautiously.

She didn't want warmth.

She didn't want comfort.

Sighing, she turned away from the rocky ledge to face the uninvited companion. The trespasser smiled kindly and held out his hand. Her response was the same as it had been for months.

Faced with her back once more, he offered his own sigh and lowered his head. He looked around the space, his eyes spying the three branches of flowers sitting peacefully at the base of a nearby tree. A sad smile snuck onto his face.

Orchids. Their fuchsias and pinks were bright against the dullness of the gray bark and brown soil. And even though the wind caused their petals to sway, they held their sentry over _his_ space.

Memories flashed through his mind. He remembered how her quarters used to overflow with the exotic flowers. He remembered how they looked against the white of her wedding dress. He remembered how every year _he_ would send her a large vase of them for the desk in her office.

But this year was different than the others for her. There were no smiles. There were no vases of orchids. There was no _him_.

This time when her unsolicited guest approached he didn't touch her. He just stood near her. Close enough that she knew he was there but far enough that he didn't overwhelm her.

Unwavering compassion and love blanketed the space as his patience persisted.

He could feel her soft sobs as if he had been holding her to his chest. A frown pulled at his usually cheerful face until he found himself in the trenches with her. His own tears trickled down his face as he motioned with his right arm to a form hidden behind a tree.

A few pebbles skittered over the mountain as two shuffling feet kicked at the ground. The woman turned away to once again face the man she knew was still there. Only this time, it wasn't him who drew her attention. Her stare lowered to the man's right and the stoic resolve she typically held in place cracked as two hazel eyes met hers.

Today they almost looked green. Just like _his_ did sometimes. Her chest shook as she fell to the soft earth.

As two tiny arms wrapped around her, she held tight and cried into the small, delicate neck.

"It's okay, Mama," the little girl said. She looked to the tree as fat tears fell from her large eyes. "I miss him too."

"I know you do, baby," the woman said in a broken voice.

"I miss _you_ too." The little face crinkled as more tears coursed down her round cheeks.

She held the girl tighter, her sobs shaking her small daughter.

"Mama, you holdin' me too tight."

The sudden laugh echoed over the mountain and floated down into the valley. A flock of geese dispersed seconds later, squawking their displeasure at the noisy interruption. The three brokenhearted people looked up at the sky as the birds took flight into the heavens. For a moment they savored the beauty of this place, void of any sorrow.

Turning her head back into her daughter's hair, she muttered an apology. "I'm sorry, baby. I'm so sorry." As she cradled the back of her daughter's head, she looked up at the young man and offered him a small smile of apology. "To both of you," she whispered for him. A deep breath exited her body as she looked around the space, the sadness once again coloring her view. "I haven't been a very good mother to either of you lately." She pulled back and sat on her heels as she studied her children.

"You loved him, Mom," the young man said as he knelt down beside his sister. "We all did. You helped us. Let us help you." He timidly reached for her and placed his hand on her arm. "We've done it before," he said, the grief glazing his eyes. "We can survive it again."

She shook her head and placed one of her hands over his. "Sometimes I feel like such a horrible person. As if by living my life I'm forgetting him. Sometimes I can't hear his voice. Sometimes I can't see his face. But when I'm here…"

"We lost him, Mom. He's already gone. We don't want to lose you too," her son said. "If you want to be here we want to be with you."

"Wesley, you shouldn't have brought her," she said as she released her daughter and stood. She took a few steps away and hugged herself around the middle.

The little girl shot toward her mother and grabbed onto her legs. Her hazel green eyes flooded with tears. "No," she said adamantly as if she thought she would lose her at any moment.

"Sophie," she said as she scooped up the fragile three-year-old.

"Mama, don't go."

"Go where, baby?"

"Don't go where Papa is."

The tears fell in torrents from Beverly's eyes. "I won't baby. Not now. Not today."

The little girl looked to her mother, her probing eyes trying to find any kind of deception.

"I promise. I just missed Papa. I needed to be here…do you understand?"

"Wes'ly said you and Papa falled to love here." The little girl looked to her brother and smiled proudly.

"Yes," she said with a smile.

She ran her fingers through her daughter's soft strawberry blonde curls. With each passing day, the red was starting to overtake the blonde. While she studied her daughter's features, a new wave of tears fell as it occurred to her that he'd never see their little girl grow up. He'd never see his wish for his daughter to look more like her mother come true.

"This is where Papa and I realized we'd fallen in love," she said, wiping the tears from her cheeks. Turning toward the tree she pointed to where the flowers were placed. "You see there?"

Sophie nodded her head.

"That's where Papa asked me to marry him. And a year later that's where I told Papa I was going to have you." She hugged the little girl tightly and smiled at the memory. "This place is very special to me…and to Papa." Reaching over, she grabbed her son's arm and pulled him closer. "I'm happy I could share it with _both_ you."

Looking into Wesley's eyes, she told him with one look that she needed a few more minutes alone. Wesley nodded his head and held his hands out toward his sister. Smiling at him, Beverly placed the little girl into his waiting arms.

"Come, Sophie," Wesley said.

"Where we goin'?"

"We need to give Mama a few minutes to talk to Papa."

She watched as her children started their descent down the mountain path. After a deep breath she walked to the tree and lowered herself to the ground. She stared at the flowers and let a few more tears to fall for him…for them…for the life they should have had.

Then one last time she gave him the three things she'd always hold in her heart for him.

"_I'm sorry."_

"_I miss you."_

"_I love you."_

Sobbing miserably, she braced herself on the tree. The bark pushed into the sensitive flesh of her palm but she didn't pull back. There was comfort in the pain. Just as there was comfort in the heartache this place brought.

She looked around the area once again and breathed out a sigh. Despite the grief it brought, this place felt so alive. This place made _her_ feel alive again. Even as a storm brewed on the horizon, this place was a refuge.

In the distance she could see the ominous thunderclouds building and further hoarding away the sun. They continued to battle with the wind for dominance over the Earth below. Their blustery war caused the leaves on the tree above her to shake. The delicate foliage was a defenseless bystander to the power play surrounding it.

Normally she could have sympathized with them. But today, on their mountain, she feared nothing. She knew he had a heavenly hand in it…in the sense of embracing peace and the warmth of the sun's beams over her. He kept her safe. In death as he did in life.

After the last of her tears fell, she wiped her eyes and cheeks with her hands then turned back toward the edge. She gazed down then tilted her head back up, her eyes falling shut as she did. The bright sun spilled over her face and burned through her eyelids.

Just as she was about to turn away a soft gush of wind lifted her hair. As the strands delicately caressed the side of her face, it almost felt like he was there. She could almost smell his scent and hear his soft murmurs in her ear.

It was like he had somehow trapped his very essence on this mountain. In the whispers of the breeze, the smell of the honeysuckles, the very feel of the tree's bark and soil's softness.

He was there. And he was quietly reciting those same three things back to her.

"_I'm sorry."_

"_I miss you."_

"_I love you."_

**The End.**


End file.
